Written Thursday, July 3. Posted Monday, July 7

I'm pretty happy right now. Like, infectiously joyful. I have a deep-seated feeling of peace, joy, and contentment surrounding me right now. "Why?", you ask. Thanks for asking! I'd love to tell you.

It might have to do with the fact that it's July and our A/C has been off for over 72 hours and the windows are open. It might have to do with the fact that I packed 5 boxes today, and our clothes for our upcoming trip to Connecticut are laundered and sitting in a suitcase. It might be that I'm excited about said-trip to Connecticut that begins tomorrow. It might also have to do with the cookies that I ate a few minutes ago that are giving me a sugar rush (let's be honest, that's a lot of it!). It might even be the music that I'm graciously allowing my neighbors to enjoy.

But to be serious, it just stems from one basic thing: I believe that I am living in God's Will for my life. That's it. I believe that I understand what God is calling me to do right now (just right now, I'm not claiming to know His Will for the future), and I'm doing it to the best of my ability.  I feel content. I feel joyful.  I feel fulfilled.

Let me give you a bit of back story. As many of you might know, I married my Hero-Prince a little over a month ago, on May 24. The day after our honeymoon, I moved into his apartment in Iowa. That's a far cry from Texas. It's been different. It's been hard. It has honestly been one of the most difficult things that I've done. The first day Hero-Prince was back at work was one of the hardest days that I have been through in recent years. The loneliness struck me, repeatedly, in the face, stomach, and heart. Poor Hero came home to a hysterical wifey. I sobbed, shook, sobbed some more, and hiccupped a lot.

But God is wonderful and true and faithful. He orchestrates life and beauty for His creations. He inspired my hubby to encourage me to look for volunteer work in the area, something to do to keep me occupied. I looked online via VolunteerMatch (great website if any of you are looking to volunteer!) and the first result that I saw was for the Des Moines Public Library.

Ya'll. I cried. I squealed and hugged hubby and cried some more. I dialed my best friend and left her an elated and totally incoherent voicemail. Then I got my head on straight and emailed the volunteer coordinator about the position. Within an hour she had responded saying that she would love to meet me and instructions on how to apply. I printed and filled out the application and took it in the next morning to meet her. Talk about the nicest lady ever! She was so sweet and understanding and "hired" me on the spot. I had something to fill my time.

The second provision God laid in my path was a trip to the Family Christian Store. I wanted a devotional/Bible Study book, but I had no idea what I wanted or needed. Somehow, I ended up with a book entitled "True Woman 101: Divine Design" (by Mary Kassian and Nancy Demoss). For a newlywed living in a new state with no job and no friends to speak of, this book has been instrumental in helping me refocus my hear t and mind on my Lord and seeking after His Will for me.

It is incredible how the world twists God's design for womanhood and marriage. Between my study in this book and a long-term study of the Proverbs 31 woman, I have been convicted that my idea of the Perfect Woman and the Perfect Marriage were wrong. Pure and simple. My ideas were stupid and cowardly and shallow and unfulfilling. I had somehow unconsciously accepted that lie that Satan tells us that Men and Women can be the same, we just need the chance to prove it. That I am every bit as strong as a man. That I can be the same. That men having "authority" in the house doesn't really mean anything anymore. I demeaned my role as a woman and a wife.

 God specifically created Man and Woman differently. We are created differently and for different purposes. And you know what? That knowledge is not stifling or caging. It is freedom! I don't have to pretend to be like a man- strong and capable in the same ways. I am a woman. I am made to support my husband, encourage him, and challenge him to grow. I am created to nest and nurture: to create a safe, comfortable environment in which to grow and know and be known. I am uniquely designed to be "soft" - calm, gentle, kind, tender, compassionate, and sympathetic. I am fashioned to form deep relational bonds with others. I am a woman designed by God with a unique purpose in life.

That's why I'm so happy. I am rediscovering what it means to be a woman and living that out in my everyday life. It's exciting, thrilling, exhilarating, even.

Have any of you had that "aha!" moment? When you realize who God means you to be in that season of your life and you start following that? What was it like for you?

PS. If any of you are wondering about my new blog name "Of Penguins, Pens, and Pearls", I will be discussing that next week when I post.

EDIT BONUS: Here's a pic of me and hubs after the wedding :)